Archive for December, 2009

As the 2000s draw to a close, many critics, bloggers and internet denizens are compiling lists of the Best of various forms of entertainment within the current year and decade. Rankings can be very useful. They allow us to put names and titles in orders subject only to our whims and impulses, and then tag on numbers containing private symbolism. And if you care to ornament your rankings with summary evaluation and superlatives, even better.

Below, I have compiled the list of the ten finest characters ever to grace the small screen. An account of my qualifications:

  • some college

Okay, rock and roll!


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So: Winter Break. It’s great that so many holidays take place around this time—it fills the atmosphere with such enthusiasm. If you weren’t recently eager for Eid, maybe you’re hyped for Hanukkah. Perhaps you anticipate Baphomet shimmying down your chimney. (I’m pretty sure that’s, like, a thing). Personally, I’m looking forward to Christmas. Ah. I can recall a Christmas where the snow started coming down in teeny feathers just after midnight … I plead and plead with my parents to put me in my eight layers and sooner or later I’m bound for the door, tongue wagging … doing somersaults across the lawn, sometimes fearing I won’t find my mittens at the end of their strings … later, warming up by the fire, Uncle Bill bouncing me on his knee as I tell him about these damn Film Miniscules they’ve got me writing… What great fun.

I could do without Christmas trees, however. Being made to erect a ten-foot safety threat in some spot you’re pretty cool with just inhabiting sounds like some backwards Soviet policy. Many of us will have to deal with this when we get home. It always happens on Christmas Eve when you’re bloated from the Advent calendar and not feeling particularly nimble. You want to get up to use the bathroom but neveryoumind that because here’s this skyscraping electric barbed cone which infinitely multiplies and extends itself by how much it blinds you while simultaneously eliminating the distance between you and it, and you unavoidably wrap your teeth around the middle part of its pole and many trinkets shatter, and the angel Gabriel swoons and hangs prostrate overhead, and you detach yourself and collapse and yet another Sims expansion pack has proven it can draw blood from your foot and if this keeps up your brother’s going to wonder if people have stopped loving him.

So this holiday season CFS encourages you to really get creative about your education in film, since the lectures won’t cover everything or everyone. Watch some Makavejevs or a Tarr—they’re highly accessible. Let’s remember, we study film art not because of its general tendency toward being entertaining and direct, or because its artists and architects so easily become our heroes, but because we struggle with basic arithmetic and the periodic table and so our guidance counsellors encouraged us to spend more time on our hobbies and personal appearances. (I found my calling in the arts after my Bristol board presentation, “Pluto is the Coldest Planet on Earth plus four proofs,” was not allowed to compete in the Grade 9 Science Fair.) A film degree looks nice, but if by the time you graduate the only Paul Thomas Anderson film you can name is Alien vs. Predator, then is your specific expertise really expertise, like c’mon now.

Happy holidays,


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Hey there guys and gals,

Here’s a little last-minute update about this week’s meeting.

First of all, yes, we are having one. Secondly, we’ll be giving you all of the info you need in order to put together a pitch for your screenplay. We’ll be having an open call for pitches at our first meeting back after winter break (Friday January 8th), so now is your big chance to ask us all of those questions that have been marinating in your brain all semester.

As for the screening, we’re showing Garth Jennings’ 2007 film ‘Son of Rambow’, in which a few British schoolboys set out to make their own version of Rambow: First Blood. Clocking in at a timely 98 minutes, this film is a good excuse to get your nose out of the books for a short-but-nice send-off before everyone parts ways for the break. Yeah!!!

Also, don’t forget to film your holiday shenanigans for your shot at Film Society Glory in our December challenge.

See you tomorrow!

Unimaginatively yours,

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